5 days til Washington

So it’s official 5 days til I leave for Germany! And I finally got my placement in Hofibieber germany near Fulda. In other words east of Frankfurt. I am glad it’s not a farm or a super crowded town because I already experienced both of those (another story). I can not wait for the adventure ahead and it still doesn’t feel real to me.

This weekend was great I had my aunt Becky for Miami come in for my birthday/graduation/Bon voyage party. Alot of people showed up for it, I was surprised I had that many friends. Which means a lot presents!! I’m kidding I’m glad everyone came and danced with me. My favorite moment was when my best friend gave me the other half to a heart necklace. I always wanted one but never knew had anyone close enough to share my heart with so thank you Kiana Kendrick for sharing your heart with me. I know for me it will be hard to go to school everyday and not have your locker next to mine or our late night twerk session to booty wurk but hanging with you taught me that anyone can be your friend. Take us for example, we meet on the first day of sixth by accident. I was standing there panicking because I didn’t see any of my friends and then out no where comes this huge bear hug from the back. When I turned around our faces explained it all. I will never forget the moment because it was a start to an everlasting friendship between two complete strangers. That’s how I know that there is hope for friends like you!

When does it begin to feel real?

I guess this will be the official first post of this blog. I decided to base this blog on the emotional roller coaster of an exchange year and the many changes the year brings. Get ready for the complaining post, the post that make you jealous, the sad post and all the above.

To describe the feelings of  applying:

Application 1: The longest application ever but you manage to complete the first draft in just one day. You read it over and over again to make sure it sounds professional.

Semi-finalists: You think of all the possible reason why they wouldn’t pick you while you sleep and then you wake up and check your email every 5 minutes.

Interview: Trying to find the best outfit is mission impossible. You look up practice questions and hope they are similar to the ones they may ask you. You have your mom practice with you 30 minutes before you go, hoping you sound educated.

Finalists: They send you a date for final decisions and you still check your email everyday just incase they decide to pick you early ( doesn’t happen)

The week after you make it you still feel like your waiting to hear back if you made it and still feel like that for the next 2 weeks. Until you start a count down. By this time you  panic to get stuff done and will want to pack right now. But you still have 3 months to go. Living in Florida we have the awesome advantage of free virtual school so of course I jumped on the final credits I needed to graduate, but after 2 or 3 weeks I began slacking because of normal school. Now a week before I got only about half thru.

The 2 weeks before I leave it still doesn’t feel real. I have mini panic attacks when I think about where I will be in the next 2 months and how i will survive. I know it may seem like I ‘m not nervous at all but really I’m freaking out. People ask me all the time :

When do you leave? How long are you gone for? Gesh are you scared? Why Germany? AND my all time favorite question , they have beer over there right? Ah man your gonna have so much fun!

Yes its mostly adults who say that to me. And when people ask I usually say I’m not that nervous, just excited. But they can see right through me. I am actually pretty freaked out, I never been this long away from the family.I  think I will do just fine but I don’t think my parents will do the same. You see in my household I’m the middle child so everything is blamed on me and I can usually handle all the family fighting. My mom is very attached to me because I’m the only girl and the only one who can handle her crazy ways. And I know my dad will have a hard time not being able to control the environment around me and won’t be able to take my phone away or ground me for the weekend.

Bittersweet Endings create a Strong Beginning

Happy Easter Everyone!!!

Easter is my one of my favorite holidays, it always brings joy and relaxation. This Easter was especially great, I had my last dance performance, last Easter breakfast prep, and finally the last Easter lily.

My dance performance was amazing. I have the best team in the entire world. Not only did we make Autumn cry ( the choreographer) but we had the entire audience in tears! Which to us means we did it right. I have danced for Easter for 8 years now and having to preform for the last time torn me apart. It wouldn’t have been my last if I went to USF after Germany but I decided to go to FIU in Miami. I gave this dance everything I had and made sure every moment was sharp, and full of energy. It felt so good after when everyone claps for you and whisper to you during church how good you did. I wore a bright yellow suit today and alot of the members told me how fast I have grown up and how they remember when I was a young vibrant child( it must of been the suit). I have a feeling around this time next year I will have the urge to dance again.

Every year my parents buy an Easter lily from the church to plant in my back yard. I bought my last one today and planted it as soon as I got home. I have 4 living ones right now and three of them are ready to bloom. To me they symbolize a new season like a new beginning. And the flowers represent the amount of memorable moments you will have this year. so far three flowers are fully bloomed and I guess this day is one of them!

I am a little depressed these things are ending but I am glad new adventures are beginning. Who knows I may dance for Easter next year and share the tradition with my host family. I am just worried my family won’t remember these moments like I did when I am gone.

Machines

Today I realized something,( I know that some of you may not be as religious as I am but when you hear my messages you could easily relate) that we are all machines. We work for a purpose, break down when there is too much pressure and we can all be fixed. Today I felt the pressure that has built up all year come crashing down on me. Usually I would of shaken it off but this time it latched on to me. With the pressure of keeping up in school and thinking about living in another country threw me into a whirlpool of reality. I just realized that my whole life could change in just a few months and now time is  running out to finish things. This is why we are machines, we break down when there is too much pressure. I broke down, with cheering every other night, school, work, volunteering, and trying to find time for tutoring and friends I couldn’t even complete everything. I knew this would happen and I tried to prepare myself but failed. So instead of giving up or stop functioning, I took a break and organized or rebooted. I noticed that I was putting things in the wrong places, double booking every weekend, and trying to finish everything in one month. So I officially handed it over to God and told him to take over. You don’t know how good it feels to hand it over to someone else. I organized everything in my calendar, so i could attend every meeting and made time to go on a mission trip with my youth group. In the end, all of this is for a purpose, if its either to go to Germany or to stay here in Florida and ride out an easy senior year, I have a purpose.I’d imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn’t be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason.

I had a long da…

I had a long day today but I have found time to write this down on a napkin, during work.

“I Will find you in the place I’m in… find you when I’m at my end… find you when there’s nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness…”

Life is full of ups and downs; seasons of harvest and seasons where the fields stay empty. There are moments where we are surprised by joy, and moments where we are faced with impossible tragedy. It’s a journey that takes place on a narrow road, and sticking to it means that there will always be valleys that can’t be avoided and trials that offer no detours. It’s a long obedience and one that even armed with the truth can feel incredibly lonely at times.

I think it’s something that every believer has felt. It is that moment where you feel forgotten; the moment where silence in loud. The moment where you feel alone and wonder where God is in it all.

Jeremiah 29:12-13 says “When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.” (The Message)

That’s the promise of our God. That He will always, always meet us where we are if we are simply looking for Him.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re walking through, God is with you. Be still, take heart, have faith…you can’t miss Him.\

I hope that gives some encouragement for the week 🙂 

Interview

Interview Info!!!!!

Dear Maryah,

We look forward to meeting you in Winter Haven, Florida on Saturday, February 25, 2012. During the selection event, we will hold both individual interviews and a group activity beginning at 8:30 AM. Each interview should last approximately half an hour. We will have a break from 11AM – 12PM. From 12 – 2PM, we will hold an information session designed to share an overview of the CBYX program with you and your parent/guardian. You do not need to bring anything to the event- all materials will be provided. The event details are as follows:

Group Activity: 8:30 – 10:30AM

You should plan to arrive by 8:30AM to join the group activity. If your interview is also scheduled within this time period, you should plan to leave the activity at the time of your appointment and rejoin the group after your interview.

Your Individual Interview Time: 11:00:00 AM

Information Session: 12:00PM – 2:00PM (all students and parents are strongly encouraged to attend)

Location:
Winter Haven High School
600 6th Street Southeast
Winter Haven, FL 33880
Web: http://schools.polk-fl.net/whhs/

So excited and nacreous! This interview literally will change the course of my life!

Plans for You

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,’ Declares the LORD. ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

I don’t know what those plans are. I know my dreams and my aspirations and my hopes and my wants, but those all amount to nothing. I don’t know what my future will be. I don’t know what I will be doing tomorrow let alone for the rest of my life, but I do know that whatever it is God will guide me, and he’ll guide you too. Keep your mind open. Keep your heart open. Keep your eyes open. You will be guided to where you belong. Just know that you aren’t in control of everything. If you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans.

Application Process

I first stumbled upon CBYX when I was on Facebook. I saw the advertisement on the sidebar and instantly wanted to go. I always want ed to travel to Europe and I guess now is my chance.

Chance… That is one of those mysterious acts that can’t be explained or scientifically proven. What are the chances of an advertisemnt popping up just when I wanted to travel. What are the chances of having enough time to finish my application before the due date. And what are the chances of me making it…..

I guess chances are god’s plans unnoticed by us. I mean all this time he has secretly prepared me for this moment. To log on to the computer when the advertisement was up, to have just finish all my credits for graduation, and to have a trusting relationship with him. Even though I haven’t found out if I have gotten the sponsorship yet, I still feel as if  I already had. Trust in him with all you heart and you will succeed. But still I feel like I shouldn’t think that way because I may not qualify. I mean I feel like I have worked really hard just so my application for colleges looks decent and I literally maxed out all the application blanks. I want this scholarship more than anything right now and I really hope CBYX sees me as a qualified student.